Franz Kafka — Will You Still Love Me If I Were a Huge Smelly Bug?

There is a not-so-funny joke running on social media. Girls would annoy their boyfriends with a seemingly stupid question, “Will you still love me if I turn into a worm?”

Maybe the question is not that stupid. Franz Kafka explored this very question in his classic, The Metamorphosis.  

The story was simple enough. When Gregor, a traveling salesman, woke up and got ready for work, he could not get off his bed – He had turned into an enormous, ugly, smelly bug. 

Being an employee with excellent work ethics, Gregor immediately thought about how he could explain the rather unusual circumstance to his manager. Indeed, that's unnecessary. Because Gregor was late to work, his manager visited his home and made a scene in front of his family. Before Gregor’s family managed to open the door, the manager blurted outside Gregor’s room, “I thought I knew you as a calm, reasonable person, and now you appear suddenly to want to start parading around in weird moods.” Of course, after the door was opened, the manager was so scared that she could only flee without listening to Gregor’s explanation. (Written 100 years ago, the very nature of a manager at work has not changed.)

Gregor, who had the most successful career among his family members, took great pride in providing for his family with his job that he hated. Even after Gregor turned into a bug, he reminded himself to stay calm and be patient, so he could avoid causing his family further trouble. He imagined a day when everything would return to normal, allowing him to provide for his family again. 

So, how did Gregor’s family, who Gregor loved dearly, react to the event? Not too well. Gregor’s father wished to lock Gregor into his room and pretended that he did not exist. When Gregor tried to leave the room, the father responded with violence. His mum, while being gentle to Gregor, was completely paralyzed by Gregor’s new look. His mum did not object to the cruel actions against Gregor suggested by the father and the sister.

Initially, Gregor’s sister, Grete, volunteered to take care of her brother. She discovered that Gregor, as a bug, loved rotten food. Grete grew confident by handling matters that involved Gregor and thought she knew what was best for him. Grete realized that Gregor now loved to crawl around the room. That made sense, as Gregor had nothing to do but wait, to be overwhelmed with self-reproach and worry, to creep on walls, furniture, and the ceiling, and to leave disgusting secretions on everything. Grete, therefore, suggested that they should remove all furniture from Gregor’s room so that Gregor could have more space to crawl around. 

As much as Gregor loved to crawl, he was not willing to let the warm room, comfortably furnished with pieces he had inherited, be turned into a cavern to crawl around without disturbance. He was not ready to forget his human past. When Grete and their mother were clearing Gregor's room, he panicked and struggled, which led to another violent episode of Gregor’s dad attacking him. Even though Gregor had a particularly close relationship with Grete (Gregor was going to provide money to Grete for her to attend music school in the coming Christmas), Grete from the beginning was not able to look Gregor in his “face” and from that, grew more and more distant from Gregor. Grete was also the one who suggested that the bug was not Gregor and that the “Bug” should be put to death. 

Throughout the story, Gregor had a great longing to be understood, be helped, and be loved, which he never received. In the earlier episode, when the manager and his parents broke into his room, Kafka wrote, “Earlier, when the door had been barred, they had all wanted to come in to him. Now, when he had opened one door and when the others had obviously been opened during the day, no one came any more.”

The attention he received after turning into a bug even made him feel that he was once again in the “circle of humanity”. He thought that even though his parents and boss didn’t understand his words, they were at least willing to help him, which was sadly untrue. 

Before Gregor’s death, he spent his nights and days with hardly any sleep. Sometimes he thought he would take over the family arrangements just as he had earlier. He would meet his employer and supervisor, two or three friends from other businesses, a chambermaid from a hotel,  a female cashier from a hat shop, whom he had seriously, but too slowly asked out. He was happy to see them, and happier to see them disappear. The story ended with Gregor dying and being discovered by a cleaning lady. 

After reading a bit of Franz Kafka's biography, I realised Franz Kafka was writing about himself through Gregor. Franz Kafka had an abusive father and a mother who did nothing about the situation.  He had an eating disorder. Trained to be a lawyer, he worked in insurance agencies with little satisfaction. Fiction sometimes captures a more profound truth than non-fiction. 

I have only heard about Kafka in a podcast, which led me to read this classic. So I’m not ready to make any deep comments on the book. When reading this very upsetting story, I just felt extremely fortunate that I grew up in and still have a loving family who are always here with me in good and bad times. And despite all the challenges, I am posting them, I would never have to test their love by turning into a smelly bug, I hope.